Pancakes & Waffles - Pt. I


   Image from

As a kid the differences of men and women was often translated to me this way: Women are like pancakes and men like waffles. You pour syrup on a pancake and the syrups just spread everywhere, soaking up everything like a sponge. Waffles compartmentalize. They section and square off the syrup.

Now someone reading this is probably thinking that I’m in need of some very serious counseling after such a distorted and narrow-minded-conditioning in regards to the male and female sex. I’m quite certain this may not apply to every area of men and women (I know far too many “men” all too aware of every thought and emotion - very straight too, I might add) but to some degree this pancake & waffle theory is quite true. While we women would like to deny our inevitable makeup in this feminist-domineering world, there are some traits are hard to defy. One of them being our incessant mouths. Maybe it’s one reason why we’ve yet to  see a Female President. As women, we have a keen awareness that allows us to soak up a lot all at once, also meaning we like to swim in a lot of different  emotions … all at once, also meaning women tend to say a lot all at once. Sometimes a lot (or too much) of nothing.

I recently heard women referred to as leaky faucets. Like a consistent trickling of worries, wants, expectations and frustrations. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. We can talk in circles and not always necessarily make  sense. And on occasion, we women have even been known to nag. I know it may sound harsh, but woman to woman, lets call it what it is. Though the days when we retain some ounce of self-control, rather than letting everyone hear it, it’s likely we save it for those closest to us, you know those your really love, like friends, boyfriends, parents and husbands. But why do we do this? Why do women nag?  It’s no wonder guys can get so easily exhausted in relationships trying to “figure us out” (and no I’m not calling all of  women’s mystery a dead end to meeting expectation - though I’m sure at times it may feel that way.) I see it happen when girls are 25 or 75.  A women’s hopes and anticipation, unspoken or not, carry a lot of weight, too much perhaps. Ever heard the saying “Love deferred makes the heart grow sick.”? I’d say for women, “Expectation deferred makes the heart wither and die.”

Women expect a lot of life. There is a reason why the popular on-going topic is why  “Women still can’t have it all” and not why “Men can’t have it all.” Not because men “want it all” (well, maybe some of you do) but women tend to share a similar expectation not only for their  family and love, but their jobs, their looks, their kitchens, their dates. We tend to want it all at once. We to be model-thin, but still eat bon-bons every night. We want successful jobs with a peaceful work atmosphere, but want co-workers who our are best friends, who we can share our deepest secrets with (sorry,  I just don’t think this ever meshes all too well.) We want to be super-heroic mothers, but to be “career-women”. We want a romantic, adventurous life, but don’t ever want anyone dictating our schedules. We want to have our cake and eat it too. (And we wonder why guys can’t figure us out.) Sometimes a our expectations can so  overwhelm us that we’re not quite sure what we want, and thus the heart withers.  

The structure of a pancake can be hard to determine. Men can’t figure women out because at times we women can’t figure ourselves out. Then again women are expected to have a sweet manner and disposition, unlike men, who we at times expect or anticipate the complete opposite. So when the nagging, the whining, when the dripping begins it’s what one would probably… call a turn off. This is just a feminine trait (sadly) I’ve become more aware of as of late. Sometimes you see things you don’t want, so you have to get down to the core of it. Though I think this one is a bottomless pit. The study of pancake and waffles will continue….