10 Moments That Make A Single Girl Think “I'm Not a Real Person Yet!” & Frances Ha


The new film Frances Ha, a seemingly whimsical but honest story of a woman (still) becoming a woman, opens with a scene where Frances’ card is declined ( buying dinner for a guy no less) and she hits that all too familiar moment of realizing, “oh, I’m not a real person yet.”

Oh… I’m not the only young female who still feels that way from time to time? 

I guess you could call this more of a film preview, rather than review (since I’m eager to see any film that brings to light the single, twenty-something, life-doesn’t-quite-feel-in-place-yet female perception). While often us single, not yet stable, career women can feel like we’re all on our own, it’s reassuring to discover you’re not the only girl who feels Forever 21 (especially when it’s literally the only place where you can afford to by a an entire outfit.)

While I will have to wait for my next paycheck to come in to stroll over to my local Indie secret garden of a theater, for France Ha to reassure me that I’m not the only one who doesn’t quite feel like an adult, here a little list of reoccurring moments some of you women (and maybe myself) face from time to time, that make you feel like you’re not quite the woman you thought you’d feel like by now.

The 10 Moments Making You Feel Like You’re Not a Real Person, Yet…

  1. Your card declines at Starbucks (even though you’ve finally mastered how to order your drink to save $1.23.)
  2. You’ve attempted more career options in the past 6 year than most 50 year old woman have in their entire lives.
  3. You look at your closet and it finally occurs to you, a tailor would probably be a good investment.
  4. You admit to yourself bedhead hair just might not be appropriate for an every day look.
  5. You realize earning good credit (or credit, period) is something you should consider.
  6. You find you only have 3 of the 13 Essential Closet items InStyle magazine says every woman should own.
  7. Your kitchen dosn’t consist of much more than a cutting board and one decent  sharp knife.
  8. You’re caught by your boss, cluelessly signing a check incorrectly (because you don’t even own any).
  9. You place your sushi takeout “splurge” order and the host’s first response is, “Are you sure one roll is all you want?”.
  10. Your first stop at the mall is still the clearance racks at Urban Outfitters and Pac Sun.

In Sex in the City Carrie Bradshaw asks herself, single, creditless and without a man, “How do you retain a sense of value when you have nothing concrete to show for it?” I have a feeling France Ha may deal with similar misconceptions of value, if she bases it on anything remotely close to what is expected of a “real person” nowadays. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take all of “womanhood” for us to discover nothing concrete will ever equal the value of the women we already are. While in the meantime, I will inevitably face a few more “I’m not a real person” breakdown moments, it’s reassuring to know there are Frances’ in the world who feel just as unreal a person as I do.