There seems to be a misconception for why women are, more often than not, instinctively attracted to the bad boy.
Looking back at my previous description of why good girls love bad boys, it was a somewhat vague one. You could say, maybe, I was naive as to what we good girls can really find in a bad boy. It is a pretty-well and widely known fact that what is bad for us isn’t good for us, simply put. But let’s face it, based on face value, the bad boy almost always wins. And therefore, almost always seems winning.
Even in the movies: The bad boys is typically the reckless, non-committal, undependable, unpredictable bachelor who, after some-70 minutes, reveals a heart of gold that somehow manages to make the pain and torture, the girl allows herself to suffer through, oh-so worth it by the close of a film.
This is just not so true in real life.
In real life, we girls, even women (*ehem* those of us no longer forever 21) would love to think bad is just as good for us, as it is bad. That all the wrongness, truly, really makes him so much more full of right-ness. In our minds this concoction of good and bad, this yin and yang, this adverse blend of water and vinegar, somehow magically mixes into one solid, real, but dreamy concoction by the end of the love story we’ve already played through in our heads before the first date.
So what I really should tell you, what would be the right thing to say about the down side of dating a bad boy is that, well... they’re bad. They’re not good for you.
Plain and simple.
Though that may be the last reason why dating a bad boy is a compelling point, compared to the many other overlooked turn-offs. Because, you will quickly find, if you keep your eyes open and your brain intact - not always doable for everyone in a dating relationship - just as everything that looks good (excuse my horrible Floridian-tainted english) ain’t, everything that looks bad isn’t.
For as long as women could choose, bad boys have held a certain stigma that catches our eyes and captures our attention. For a women, a bad boy means adventures, a life full of color and magical experiences (alright, alright, not those kind of experiences you dirty minds.) Generally speaking, this is what women would love to believe that not-so-good boy has tucked away in his back pocket.
But going off of some real life experiences of one who has had such preconceived notions of dating the bad boy, it can easily be said they’re not all they’re cracked up to be.
Here are 7 bad boy traits that, may not be obvious now, but are total turn-offs:
1. He doesn’t hold the door for you.
So, nowadays a gentleman is suddenly considered overrated. While more guys are eager to become GQ street-style men and prance through a door to strut their stuff, more girls seem to eagerly walk behind in their shadow.
Granted, there is the whole argument that we women want to be independent individuals who can hold our own or what-not (yes, we like our voices to be acknowledged and can stand on our own two feet) but if the act of a man holding the door for me is something to be considered sexist, well then, just call me an anti-feminist.
If a guy can’t think to get the door for you, there are likely a number of other things he can’t think to do for you in the near future.
2. He can never afford to pay for dinner.
Dinner - like an actual restaurant, where you are waited on, served and cleaned up after and the meal cost more than $5. Yes, this is what they used to call a date.
I know, mind-blowing.
Initially, this always seems so subtle for girls. When we want to date a guy we will gladly deal with Chipotle dinner dates, heck, we will take Dunk’n Donuts. But the whole I-don’t-have-a-job-but-really-just-can’t-handle-any-level-of-commitment-thing can get real old, real fast when and if things progress.
3. He swears like Ben Affleck from Good Will Hunting (or The Town... or Gone Girl.... or.... any Ben Affleck movie for that matter.)
Yep, Ben Affleck-bostonian sailor’s mouth can be attractive to a girl in the oddest way.
“He’s so real.”
“He’s so down-to-earth.”
“I love that he just says what he thinks.”
As cute as those sailors-mouths may seem while %*$&#@-ing everyone off in traffic, they won’t be so cute when they come flying at your face. Ladies - we are already semi-insecure beings. It would not hurt you to find a guy who can edify you with the words that come out of his mouth.
In fact, it should kind of be step #1 in any relationship worth your time.
4. They’re most cute and fun when they’re buzzed *bashful grin*.
Let’s face it, there is something uber-attractive (yes, I just said uber) about a guy without any inhibitions. When the confidence oozes, so does the charm.
But when the only time you ever see this guy is after a few beers, do you really know who this confident guy is before the buzz? Date him and you will soon find out.
Hint: It may not be the same cute, fun guy you first met at that party.
5. He’s all bark and no bite.
At first, this appears as pure, utter confidence. In fact this type often seems like the next in line to run some billion dollar company that is bound for NYC because he appears to know everything.
He always has the answer. And he always has the last word. Yet, rarely does he step up to the plate to change what he often complains or gripes about.
6. He can’t kick any bad habits.
Now, to each his own on this, of course. But at this point in our world we are fully aware of some health habits that just don’t promote a long healthy life.
Whoever was the first to make sucking on a lit-up, grass roll-up look sexy, I don’t know, but the fact that it is the single greatest cause of preventable death globally, should speak for itself by now.
7. He doesn’t like plans.
More than anything, we bad-boy-infatuated types love the idea of adventure. But these boys more often than not, don’t have a plan for any adventure. Most don’t have plans. But whatever plan he does have, as it evolves along the way, you may find isn’t exactly the idea of adventure you had concocted in your head.
So while you think these bad boy will bring all this excitement and fun and movie-to-life-like experiences that will just sweep you up into ever after, it doesn’t always bring half that. But it bring a slew of other traits you never bargained for when hoping to date someone on the wild side. You can take my word for it, or go learn for yourselves. Which you probably will do.
We all seem to prefer it that way anyways.