Truth be told, it’s common for most any female to be found in one of two frames of mind: “I’m ugly.” or... “I’m fat.” Some days we wake up in it, other days we’re just dandy until the slightest thing sets us off into a self-loathing, mirror-avoiding, Victoria Secret Model-envying oblivion. Habitual self-doubt and insecurity is the gray, stormy cloud that we live under, walking around with our heads down, like Linus from Charlie Brown. We often accept “it’s just a part of life”, this idea that we will always feel and look average and that there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. It’s a norm we reside in and assume the only girls who don’t are those we envy (though likely they deal with it just as much as the next).
While we girls ride on such degrading thoughts and emotions most guys are mentally and vocally buffering their egos. Really, it wouldn’t hurt us to learn a thing or two from the boys on this one.
As females we can spend years trying to look like someone else, wishing away every trait we posses. The more we accept we are “less than,” (less than the girls in the magazine, less than our hot friends Instagram selfies, less than our ex-boyfriend’s next girlfriend) the less we make of what our lives could fully be. We whittle down our happiness to consist of a night with a jar of Nutella, a spoon and an old fashioned rom-com (that’s a romantic comedy, a.k.a 90% of the films made in the 90’s for you youngn’s) and begin presenting and referring to ourselves as less than, less than all we could be.
If there were two things I could tell my college/high-school-self (who then, quite a few jean sizes larger I might add, did look forward to such nights with Nutella more weeks than not) it would be these two ways of thinking that have come to change my self-worth and outlook on life as a whole, no matter how crazy my life may look these day.
For all the ways we hate and analyze ourselves, here are two simple ways you girls could boost your confidence today! “Because you’re worth it.” (I know - completely cheesy, but completely necessary for you to hear.)
- Stop complicating food & eat like a sensible human being.
As women, we like to complicate things. (I know, ground-breaking news for you all.) One way we screw ourselves over most often is in our relationship with food.
At some age it seems we become programmed, in our American society as women, to think that food is either a dietary sentence or a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. We don’t know how to function outside of all or nothing. Maybe I was just the most odd young girl, but even my determined search for a balance way of eating was many times unbalanced. But it shouldn’t be.
A few things to consider before stuffing your face or are reaching for a toilet to purge in (and I am not making light of this, because I know it’s a common resolve we seek): Real food is a necessity to life, is made in a variety and abundance for us to enjoy without guilt and will no doubt benefit you with a lean body and sharp mind. So eat woman!
Our psyche and stomach are connected in more ways than one, and the moment you start feeding your body sensibly is not only the moment your brain will function better, but your state of mind will be renewed, and you will begin to detach yourself from this frivolous notion that you have to eat perfectly to feel confident and beautiful.
Eating daily should be equally enjoyable and enriching. It shouldn’t feel like a prescription or a restriction. While I could talk on this subject for days, simply put, learning to eat like a sensible human being will change you from inside and out.
2. Every now and then, indulge in your girly-self...
It was for long the joke among my mom and sisters that I would spent more money on Vogue magazines than I did on the clothes I wanted. I gawked over styles I would never wear because I didn’t feel I could pull it off, or I kept waiting to look perfect to feel worthy of wearing these great outfits. Many of us do this, with clothes, hairstyles and makeup. We have just how many boards on Pinterest, how many magazines of things we love but think we could “just never pull off”? Well it’s time you feel like a little girl playing dress up. Try something new. Wear that outfit that you keep gawking over but don’t feel you could pull off, go to a beauty counter you can’t afford like Bobbi Brown and learn how to do groom your eyebrows. After all it’s free and that’s what they’re there for, not just the Jane Does sporting their Jimmy Choo’s.
Being the confident you doesn’t mean you have disregard being feminine, pretty or primped every now and then. It means it’s ok to play dress up and try new things
While we should be confident as the girls and women we are today, putting the slightest intention towards the areas of fueling and presenting one’s self has a massive impact on our value and self-worth. Stop punishing yourself for not being as perfect as you wish you were and start treating yourself as if you were as great a woman as you desire to be. My Dad repeats it to this day, and though it’s a slightly corny note to end, some Disney quotes are just as fitting for us as adults as they were when we were kids. So girls, women... “You are more than what you have become.”